Holiday (food and body) Joy
A Newsletter issue about food and our bodies in the festive period!
Welcome to our last newsletter of the year! Seven newsletters later and we’ve written about Glasgow Food and Body Positivity; Black Lives Matter, Black Bodies Matter; Food in/as Art; Halloween Food and Bodies; Our Recipes; and, most recently, Stressful times and food/body awareness! If you missed any of these, they’re all available at gufabposisoc.substack.com if you’d like to have a read.
In the new year, we’ll be continuing our fortnightly newsletters. If you’d like to contribute in the future, just email gufabpositivitysoc@gmail.com before the Friday that the newsletter is released and we’d love to include your submission! If you have any questions about this, don’t hesitate to get in touch!
This edition of the newsletter is all about feeling food and body joy alongside the joy we would ideally feel as part of the festive period. It includes some reflections, poetry, a self-gift guide, a recipe, podcast recommendations, and some helpful resources if you need them. If you’re in the midst of exams and the holidays seem like a warm glowy light at the end of the tunnel, feel free to read this newsletter when you’re basking in that festive cheer in a few weeks time. Or if precisely what you need is a reminder of the festive joy that awaits you come the holidays… I don’t know if this is the newsletter for you (go and watch Home Alone instead) - we’re talking about our relationship with food and our bodies here folks! But if that seems relevant to you, please read on!
Content warnings: this newsletter discusses disordered eating.
Poem
Christmas Eve: My Mother Dressing
BY TOI DERRICOTTE
My mother was not impressed with her beauty;
once a year she put it on like a costume,
plaited her black hair, slick as cornsilk, down past her hips,
in one rope-thick braid, turned it, carefully, hand over hand,
and fixed it at the nape of her neck, stiff and elegant as a crown,
with tortoise pins, like huge insects,
some belonging to her dead mother,
some to my living grandmother.
Sitting on the stool at the mirror,
she applied a peachy foundation that seemed to hold her down, to trap her,
as if we never would have noticed what flew among us unless it was weighted and bound in its
mask.
Vaseline shined her eyebrows,
mascara blackened her lashes until they swept down like feathers;
her eyes deepened until they shone from far away.
Now I remember her hands, her poor hands, which, even then were old from scrubbing,
whiter on the inside than they should have been,
and hard, the first joints of her fingers, little fattened pads,
the nails filed to sharp points like old-fashioned ink pens,
painted a jolly color.
Her hands stood next to her face and wanted to be put away, prayed
for the scrub bucket and brush to make them useful.
And, as I write, I forget the years I watched her
pull hairs like a witch from her chin, magnify
every blotch—as if acid were thrown from the inside.
But once a year my mother
rose in her white silk slip,
not the slave of the house, the woman,
took the ironed dress from the hanger—
allowing me to stand on the bed, so that
my face looked directly into her face,
and hold the garment away from her
as she pulled it down.
Taken from the Poetry Foundation Website, Toi Derricotte, “Christmas Eve: My Mother Dressing” from Captivity. Copyright © 1989 by Toi Derricotte.
I like that this poem highlights a few key elements of the festive period: it is a time of tradition and repetition; it may be a time filled with practices that are unusual to us; and it is a time where we may allow ourselves to indulge and enjoy ourselves, but this also means that we may be subjected to greater internal and external scrutiny. I also appreciate how Derricotte highlights the female role in the household and in Christmas celebrations - women’s unequal share of domestic labour may be especially pronounced at Christmas time, and this is something we can look out for in our own home set-ups. I think that the poem captures well the dual element of any big celebration - it’s a special time, but also a time of labour and strangeness.
A self-gift guide
This year, with in-person browsing less accessible, I have become a fan of the online gift guide. I vary the publication used by the person I’m buying for. For the posh grandparent - the telegraph gift guide may serve well. For the trendy young professional - the new yorker gives many an option. For the fellow UofG student, Oxfam is perfect. But what about ourselves? Here is a self-gift guide for treating ourselves this gifting season. Don’t expect anything groundbreaking, but know that each and every item comes from the heart (I am buying these myself).
Christmas Candles - I said there weren’t going to be any hot takes here, so here we have the least hot take for, ironically, what is quite a toasty item (fire is hot). Recently I’ve been loving lighting the Christmas candles which I’ve been hoarding for the past few years. A festive scent pervading your room makes everything a joyous activity (almost). Watching tiktok compilations on youtube, knitting, and moaning to your flatmates all become festive activities with the presence of a carefully chosen candle. For a bunch of variety and the true spirit of consumerist christmas, Yankee candle have a wide selection. I like their votive candles because they’re cheaper and you don’t have to commit to a whole candle! It’s £1.99 per votive - festivity at a bargain price! So cheap that I’m actually considering placing another order for more candles I certainly don’t need…
Lush Bath products - is this 2013? Have you been browsing in the Lush store for around 30 minutes? Do you have £5 to spend but two bath bombs you want which together total £8? Are we on Union Street in Aberdeen before we take the 201 bus back home? Was this just my childhood? Probably the Aberdeen bit at least. But seriously… as the semester creeps on and the days grow shorter, all I want is a bath. A bath that isn’t in the bathroom I share with three other people who may need to wee at any time; a bath that isn’t in the bathroom where the water doesn’t get hotter than lukewarm; a bath that isn’t in the bathroom where the only white christmas is some scary looking damp mould. A bath that is... in my parents house! A long bath in the run up to Christmas is multifunctional: cleaning and cleansing (obviously); relaxing; festive; and, most importantly, an excuse to spend several hours alone. Back to the actual self-gift amongst all this: the Golden Wonder Bath Bomb. Coming in at a hot six pounds, this is one to treat yourself with. My firm favourite since my 2013 Lush-loving days, I’ll be splashing out, so I can splash in (the bath), on this!
Tights - the one thing on this list that might be slightly out of the box, or maybe just straight off your instagram ads (how do you think I found out about these). Snag tights, whose whole selling point is well-fitting tights for a range of sizes, have released a funky festive range. They’re on the more expensive side for tights - but if you want to get impulsively spendy and then become the reference point for being bad with money because you spend £45 on tights amongst your friends, they’re perfect! I will be wearing my snag tights everyday. Not because I love them (which I sort of do) but because in order to justify this self-gift I need to get much use out of them. In seriousness, they are really quite nice. They come nicely packaged so they really are like a self-gift! And they’re thick and good quality and nice colours and maybe I’m still just trying to justify this to myself.
Food and Festivity
Food plays a big part in lots of celebrations. As a way to connect and feel close to those around us, it makes sense that cooking and eating takes on a kind of reverence in this context. I’m thinking of particular traditions that have to be adhered to, or the rituals that we perform. Turkeys stuffed a certain way, mince pies, christmas crackers and their accompanying paper crowns all offer much to be analysed from a sociological perspective... In the festive period, food takes on a certain significance. Mix this with the hyper-consumerist narrative that accompanies many winter celebrations, and you have an emphasis on food that is absent throughout the rest of the year.
A result of this extra emphasis is the counteracting force of diet culture. A little while after you get the adverts for the fancy food being flogged by the supermarkets, you get the discussions around how to deal with that fancy food. These narratives position enjoyment of food and virtuousness as opposing forces. We are made to believe that to “indulge” is to be doing something that should make us feel guilty. We all deserve food, regardless of any other factors, and we all deserve to enjoy the festive period, regardless of what, if anything, we’re celebrating. Ultimately, the issue is with the culture that focuses on making us feel as if our eating habits reflect our worth. This is true irregardless of the time of year.
Feeling joy about the food we’re eating can feel difficult if our feelings about it are wrapped up in other things. Try to take the festive period one moment at a time, and check in with yourself where you can. While we may build up a particular day in our minds, in reality any celebration is a small fraction of the year. Any choices made on any day of the year don’t have to hold any more significance than we would like, and the same is true of festive eating.
Not just Father Christmas - a whole family affair
For those of us going home for Christmas (get your covid test booked now folks!), it might be the first time we’ve spent time at home since uni started. Or perhaps you never left! Either way, between lockdown and online learning, a lot of us have spent more time with our families than we would in a usual year. So where does this leave us for Christmas?
Our family members will most likely have had an impact on our relationships with food and our bodies. Whether this means that going home for the holidays signals greater scrutiny or a safe haven (or somewhere in between), it is important to acknowledge how this might influence our feelings. Here are some thoughts relating to our relations and our relationship with food and our bodies…
When are other people entitled to opinions about the food we eat and our bodies? In my opinion (ironic), other people - family or not - should keep their mouths shut about appearances. Whether it’s weight, haircut, style choices or whatever, they should not be commenting. Better still, they shouldn’t be thinking about these things. Appearances do not define who we are, and so they should not be of central importance to those who care about us. Ignore any and all comments your family may make about these things if that’s what it takes. I like to empower myself in the righteous knowledge that I’m right and they’re wrong simply by way of them making comments, and this allows me to dismiss literally everything appearance related they might say!
Eating habits may pose a more complex context. In some cases, family members may be well placed to intervene in disordered eating practices. If a family member were to raise a genuine concern about an eating habit, it may be less helpful to outright dismiss this. Listening to the people who care about us may offer an opportunity for some clarity in what can be otherwise difficult to acknowledge circumstances. That said, we are best placed to know what is healthy for us. This is why, if in the holiday period you are worried about watchful familial eyes, knowing that you have a relationship with food and your body that works for you is helpful.
For me, knowing that my relationship with food and my body is as good as it’s ever been empowers me to resist the forces of parental guidance. Their thoughts about whatever it is I’m doing matter little when I know it’s right for me. If you’re visiting your family for Christmas, it is only you who knows the full context of your usual life. For this reason, you might be best placed to judge if something is helpful to you.
The bits of festive holidays that can make them great (spending time with family) can also make them difficult. Know that familiar pressures don’t last forever. And know that while on a particular holiday being around family may feel rough, lots of people are feeling the same way. We’re in this together - and I’m sending you all joy!
Recipe - Sweet Stuffing
Sweet stuffing is an easy vegan or vegetarian element to add to any roast dinner. Or, if you’re looking for something quick and comforting, with a festive element, this is perfect. Sweet stuffing may be a slightly acquired taste, but I’ve always been obsessed with it. If you aren’t afraid to mix savoury and sweet, this is for you!
You will need:
One packet of sage and onion stuffing
Paxo is the classic (and available lots of places at various price points) but supermarket own brands do the job perfectly well and are often cheaper
The ingredients necessary to make the stuffing mix - usually boiling water and a knob of butter (use a vegan butter alternative to make this vegan friendly)
A cup of dried fruit - sultanas, raisins or cranberries work well
Optional:
an onion, diced and fried in a pan until beginning to brown
chestnuts, hazelnuts or walnuts - roasted in the oven
Method:
Firstly, make the stuffing mix according to packet instructions. Usually this just means popping the mix in a bowl, adding water and butter and giving it a good mix.
Mix in the dried fruit. Feel free to add more or less depending on how much you’d like.
Add any additional ingredients you’d like - I think roasted nuts and caramelised onion go nicely.
Press into a small baking tray (20cm ish, but whatever small oven safe dish you have will work) and bake for 30 minutes.
Serve with carrots, broccoli or any other veg you’d like, roast potatoes and gravy! Bisto instant gravy does nicely!
That's it! This recipe has served me well - any roast craving has been swiftly met with this trusty sweet stuffing! I love this recipe, but that may only be because of its role in my childhood roasts - try it out and let me know if it stands the first-try test!
Podcasts
Some podcast episodes to get you through that journey home. I’m taking the Megabus so believe me when I say I need some festive audio to spice the trip up!
The back catalogues of the BBC Food Programme pull through once again! This episode is about ‘Christmas, food and being far from home’ so this one goes out to everybody who isn’t able to go home for Christmas this year! Listen for the wholesomeness that can only come from an old Radio Four broadcast.
Weird Christmas Food from the Weird Christmas podcast. Wow so there really is a podcast about everything. According to this podcast, apparently there are a whole bunch of podcasts popping up specifically about christmas! If you’re going to listen to two middle-aged men talk about christmas food, why not do it with this podcast?
Resources
BEAT eating disorders have some advice and support on their website about Christmas With an Eating Disorder. They are also running a helpline throughout the festive period - details here.
Wishing everyone a good time and lots of joy over the festive period! Thanks to everyone who has been reading these newsletters this semester, and I hope there’s been something helpful in them somewhere.
This issue of the newsletter was written and edited by Thalia Grou.